Sunday, January 15, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday - Calling Home Snippet #6

Hey beautiful people

The week seems to zip by as if on warp speed, innit? Cannot believe it's time once again for Six Sentence Sunday. Looking forward to some really awesome snippets as I troll the list later on - join me? :)

As for me, today, I'm taking ye all back to the yard that surrounds the double-fronted Victorian house in Camberry, Surrey. Last week, Jamie found Emma outside his surgery window, and their conversation when he came out to meet her was staggering to say the least for Jamie. How will he take that information, when he had his sights set on Margo?

Today's six come from a little further down in this scene. A panicked Margo is looking for her runaway daughter, whom she finds with Jamie outside. And suddenly, Jamie realizes the relationship between the mother and daughter is tempestuous, to say the least... [FYI - Jamie's been steering a recalcitrant Emma to the house out back, and Margo's just grabbed the girl's shoulder]


'...
Her slender, manicured hand with the short fingernails brushed Jamie's, and he almost curled his fist on the frail, girlish frame at the burst of electricity that shot up his fingers and arm - he let go, as if burnt; dead end, he reminded himself.

"Emma, don't do that again, you hear me?"

Terror laced Margo's voice, and her face held a soft, pink flush, her hair in soft disarray where the locks brushed her Burberry trench - quite a departure from the composed woman she had presented just last night.

Emma twisted her body away from Margo's touch, then trudged away, toward the yard that opened in front of the other house entrance, at the back of the property, "Oh, Mum, I was just taking a walk; no big deal, okay?"

"I was worried," Margo said to the girl's departing figure.

"Yeah, whatever." ..."


Intrigued? You can grab your copy of Calling Home (A Destiny's Child Book) in a slew of formats here.

Don't forget to check out some amazing snippets later today at the SSS site - surefire goodies to be found at Siobhan Muir, EP Beaumont, Sue K, Lucy Felthouse, Layna Pimentel, Guilie Castillo-Oriard, Sandra Bunino, Rebecca Royce, Tory Michaels, Jessica E. Subject, Sherry Gloag, JC Martin, and at my sister's place, Natalie G. Owens. :)

Have a lovely Sunday!

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

35 comments:

Angela Guillaume said...

Poor Margo. Emma's giving her a bit of tween hell... lovely as always, Zee! x

Zee Monodee said...

Lol, thanks sis! Tween girls = purgatory on Earth, I guess :)

XOXO

Tory Michaels said...

Oh, what a typical daughter. Love that "whatever". Thanks for posting, Zee!

Jessica Subject said...

I love your writing style! And this is a fabulous story. Thanks for the shout out as well! Hugs! :)

Lisa Fox said...

Teenagers are a joy aren't they? Great six!

Cate Masters said...

Oh, this brings back memories of those days... excellent work, as always, Zee!

lilashaw.com said...

Ah, teenaged girls bring everything right back down to earth don't they?

sue said...

Dead end my arse lol - you write so visually - love your style

Siobhan Muir / Meg Palevich said...

Thank you so much for the mention, Zee! I really appreciate it.

I also appreciate the hurt both the female characters are feeling in the few lines you've offered. Well done six, my dear. :)

angelaquarles.com said...

Wow, great scene-- could feel their tension, plus it makes me wonder why she got so panicky when she was just in the backyard-- obviously there's some history there, great job!

Patricia Green said...

Having had a couple of teenage daughters myself, I can really relate to this scene. Well done!

Guilie said...

Great snippet, Zee--Emma sounds like fire, love her! It's great how you portray their tempestuous relationship through dialogue and action--nicely done!

P.S. -- thanks for mentioning me on your SSS post--much appreciated, sweetie!

Alix said...

Fantastic writing!

Cherie Marks said...

Have you been spying on my daughter and me? That was so completely realistic. Great six!

Layna Pimentel said...

The craziness of tween/teen daughters make me nuts.

Intriguing snippet!

sarahballance said...

SUCH a teenager! This is a great snippet, Zee. Lots of emotion!

Zee Monodee said...

First of all everyone, thanks for coming over, & my apologies for being so late in replying you all. My Internet was awful yesterday and it kept booting me out every other minute, and that was driving me nuts. Things look better now, so hopefully I'll get to make the SSS rounds and visit you all :) xoxo

Zee Monodee said...

Lol Tory! I really wanted Emma to sound realistic, so I pushed the cork a bit where her attitude is concerned :)

Zee Monodee said...

Thanks Jessica! xoxo

Zee Monodee said...

Lol Lisa - will it look bad if I say I'm glad I don't have any daughters? :)

Zee Monodee said...

Thanks Cate! I had to delve back into my own teenage years to portray Emma, and suddenly, with the years and motherhood status, I suddenly have tremendous respect for my mum after what I must've put her through :)

Zee Monodee said...

Lol Lila, indeed they do :)

Zee Monodee said...

*grin* Thanks Sue. I do see every scene like a movie in my head, and I try my best to convey what I see in my writing :) xoxo

Zee Monodee said...

Most welcome, Siobhan!
Glad you caught on the emotion I tried to infuse through the dialogue. There's lots of old conflicts still unsettled between Emma and Margo, and Jamie will be the bridge to help them come to terms with these :)

Zee Monodee said...

Thanks Angela! Yes, there's a history here, and there's another detail at play, which we don't see in this scene, but if you read the book you pick it up - there's a child killer on the prowl in London, and Margo's working on that case. Hence why she is super vigilant of her little girl

Zee Monodee said...

Lol Patricia! You don't know what this means to me to hear your words. I don't have daughters, so I kinda went into writing Emma and her and Margo's relationship 'blind'. To know that it's right on the money is a truly awesome feeling :)

Zee Monodee said...

Lol Guilie! Let's just say there's a lot of teenage me in Emma (and yes, my poor mum went through hell with me!)

And you're most welcome for the mention *grin* XOXO

Zee Monodee said...

Thanks Alix! :)

Zee Monodee said...

Lol Cherie - love your words! I don't have daughters, much less teenage ones, so to know Emma sounds just 'right' is awesome :)

Zee Monodee said...

Lol Layna! I'm glad I've got boys and not girls :)

Zee Monodee said...

Thanks Sarah! xoxo

Sherry Gloag said...

Great snippet, so much underlying angst iin this snippet.
Thanks too, for the shout out.

Jayel Kaye said...

Emma sounds like a teen who has that "I don't trust of believe anything you say" attitude coming on.

Zee Monodee said...

Thank you Sherry! And you're most welcome for the shout out :) XOXO

Zee Monodee said...

That's true, Jayel. She's also got trust issues with Margo, who she thinks abandoned her when she was little. Added to the manipulations of her grandmother, the poor girl's been through the wringer

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...