Thursday, June 09, 2011

Link Thursday: 5 Secret Tests Guys Use To Evaluate You While On A Date

Hey peeps

Again, sorry for not posting the Writing Wednesday slot this week. I spent most of yesterday out, what with doctors' appointments, the endless waiting at the hospitals, and what else have you... Was knackered senseless when I got home.

Anywayz, today the post is going up as planned. Scouring my links folder, I found this one. Wanna know what makes a guy tick, from the get-go itself? Take a looksie at the following list, and the reasons why he is doing this.
Something else to remember - no relationship should be taken as a 'given', so always remember he might still be evaluating you on totally random occasions even if you've been together like, ages.

The article is from MSN Lifestyle Love & Relationships, pulled from Glamour magazine, and written by Erin Meanley.


Five Secret Tests Guys Use to Evaluate You While On a Date

Not to add to the stress you're already feeling while on a first date, but it turns out that guy across the table may be testing you and drawing conclusions about whether or not the two of you are actually compatible.

By Erin Meanley

[Editor's note: Erin Meanley writes for the relationships blog, Smitten. This is an excerpt from that blog.]

Recently, I had a conversation with three guys who let it spill that they test girls on dates. Yikes! They watch how closely we act — way closer than you think — and they judge. The problem, or perception, is that some women think their mere presence on a date is enough, and that they can show up late, place difficult off-menu orders, or just sit there and look pretty. Not that we're all a bunch of divas, but I think even the nicest of us can get a little too comfortable and spoiled in the dating world. Behave how you want, but I'll tell ya, he is watching you. He is watching, and he is taking detailed notes.

Remember that before the date has even started, the guy has researched a restaurant, made reservations, and texted you directions. He's done some pre-date work, meaning he has thought more about this than you've had to, so it's likely he is already paying more attention. Here are the subtle tests he is watching you pass … or fail:

Test #1: Did you show up on time?
Guys care about time more than women think they do. And they notice when you're late. Their time is just as valuable as yours. Don't waste it. Instead, get points for being prompt!

Test #2: Did you order something normal and easy?
Call it a snap judgment, call it a first impression. He's gleaning any info he can to decide if he likes you. So ordering a hot Americana is way different than requesting an iced non-fat sugar-free vanilla latte. Also, it gives him an idea of how the tone of the rest of the date will go. Note, however, that a $15 cosmo doesn't always mean high-maintenance. But every action, statement, and detail adds up to answer the overall question, Can she hang?

Test #3: Can you roll with the punches?
This one is an unplanned test: How well do you react or adjust to unforeseen circumstances? Does it start raining on your picnic? Do you show up to the restaurant and it's closed? If a guy says, "There's another place six blocks away — let's walk there. It's not Italian food, it's Spanish — is that okay?", don't act uptight or freak out. He will think you're "crazy" (according to the guys I talked to, that's the word they all used). Be willing to go with whatever, or at least pretend to. The guy is trying so hard (well, some guys are), and some things he can help but others he can't. Don't complain and don't be inflexible.

He'll make unfavorable conclusions if you say, "You're out of vanilla? Well, I don't know what to get then." (Really? You can't get chocolate?) In real life, you will be out and you will get lost, develop blisters from walking in circles, and learn that the movie is sold out. He's thinking, How will you be in the future with this day-to-day stuff? Bonus: If you keep cool on the date, that tells him you're trying to make a good impression, too. And if you really like the guy, you don't care about these little things that go wrong. You're just happy being there with him. In fact, you might not notice the snags at all — but he does. And he is taking mental notes.

Test #4: Did you participate?
Guys like to "see what you're made of." Did you catch the episode of Millionaire Matchmaker where a guy named P.J. takes his date wakeboarding? The water, he says, is where he's most comfortable (never mind where her comfort zone is, eh?). His date doesn't get in the water. She tries, though. She also gets in her bikini and cheers him on when he shows off, so he likes her.

Test #5: Did you ask him questions about himself?
Show some interest! One guy told me that he has been on dates where he asked ten times more questions than the girl. "It might take me 45 minutes, but I always notice when a girl hasn't asked me one question," he said. "This happens more than anything that I've seen." Of course you don't want to interrogate a guy, either (and if a guy is quiet, I tend to go into journalist mode — oops), but there should be a healthy balance or ratio of questions received and given. It doesn't have to be even, but make sure it's not lop-sided.


From Mauritius with love,



MJKane said...

Great find as always, Zee! It's so funny, but chapter 3 of my MS deals with the first date and things do go wrong. But thankfully, the heroine rolls with the punches and the hero makes note of how much he appreciates that about her. Glad to know that I made my characters keep it real!

MJKane said...

Great find as always, Zee! It's so funny, but chapter 3 of my MS deals with the first date and things do go wrong. But thankfully, the heroine rolls with the punches and the hero makes note of how much he appreciates that about her. Glad to know that I made my characters keep it real!

Zee Monodee said...

Hey MJ

Lol, I had no doubt you would keep it real in your story! But this kind of info really strikes home, innit?


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