Thursday, July 21, 2011
Link Thursday: Dating Tricks For Every Age
Still down in my kid-induced lobotomised state. Today he's not talking that much - at least to me! - but his big brother is home and they've got the Playstation out. So the noise is not only deafening, but mind-numbing as well. Plus they keep egging each other on, and I have to break fights...
Soooo... not in the mood for anything other than a pint of Haagen-Dasz dunked down in front of some reruns of Gossip Girl or some other perfect chick flick. Or better yet, a chick lit book (if I can get my brain to cooperate!).
In the spirit then of my current doldrums and the need for anything chick-whatever, I found this link to showcase today. Most of us are not dating, granted, since we're already married/settled. But there still is a big, wide world of dating out there and you do wanna keep pace with it.
And don't forget, your contemporary heroine will thank you for this! Keep her real - and what better way than knowing what's going on out there? Now though, heroine doesn't mean she's in her 20s. :)
So here's the article. It's actually a gallery from Glo, and you can click to view it online. Enjoy!
Dating Tricks For Every Age
Through The Years
Navigating the dating scene can be a fun yet somewhat harrowing experience at any age. We asked Glo columnist Annabelle Gurwitch, co-author of You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story (which she wrote with her husband of 15 years) to draw upon her dating experience (both personal and observed) and share her advice for people in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond.
In Your 20s
During my 20s, I dated most of, if not all, the eligible men of Manhattan. And some, not so eligible. Don’t do anything in your 20s that you will still have to think about in your 30s. Follow my logic: If 40 is the new 30, then naturally, 20 is the new 10. So have fun, play nice and expect some bruises and tears.
Michael Caine famously noted that there was a time in his career when he chose films solely by their location (hence the classic clunker, Blame It on Rio). A great way to see the world is to date people in different countries. Skype has done away with those pesky telephone bills, and your 20s are a perfect time to travel — before you reach an age when you want to have your own pillow at all times.
When shacking up, don’t forget your toothbrush and dental floss. The embarrassment of packing a toothbrush in your purse—even if you don’t end up needing it—pales in comparison to the pain of a root canal down the road.
Click With Caution
Here’s a lesson from my teenage son who just had an eight-hour “relationship.” Once he was single again (according to his Facebook relationship status), all his “friends” knew it. Facebook is tantamount to taking out a newspaper ad, so think twice before spilling the details of your dating life online.
In Your 30s
At this stage, it may feel like you have less time to squander on dating because you have so much you want to accomplish. But this is also when that first notion of “for the long haul" may enter your mind. So although you’re busy, make time to take a look around and survey the field.
See The Red Flags
Anyone you are considering dating at this point has developed something of a personality, even if they are still becoming the person they were meant to be. I used to always date loners, because they seemed “cool and reserved.” But these are often warning signs for “aloof and indifferent.” Just saying.
Be Wary Of "Projects"
So he does this thing where he picks his teeth with the side of a credit card? I can live with that. So his apartment is decorated in early dorm room? I can fix it up. So he breaks dates at the last minute? Uh-oh. Men are not fixer-uppers or “houses with good bones.” Take a good hard look before you leap!
Meet his friends. You can learn a lot more from them than your date might divulge: “You’re the first woman he’s dated that we’ve ever met, and we’ve been friends for 20 years!“ Has he ever had a relationship? Hmmm… this might be a red flag.
In Your 40s
Congratulations! You know who you are and what you like. Or, if you don’t know exactly who you are yet, at least you know who you aren’t and what you don’t like. You’re ready to act quickly, because you trust your instincts right? And, because you can keep your busy with other things that matter to you. Remind yourself of that on a daily basis.
It may seem crazy that in such a short time—say, over a quick cup of coffee—you know whether or not you want to see someone again, but consider this: In Blink, Malcolm Gladwell posited that snap decisions are often as good as, if not better than, carefully planned and considered ones.
Widen The Pool
Go back to dating tip number one from your 20s and broaden your search. If you live in a small community, then you may have already dated or been married to anyone you find attractive. Visiting family across the country? Traveling a lot for work? Get dressed up for the plane ride. You never know.
Get The Facts
If you’re dating online, just know that, on average, men add three to four inches to their height and subtract four to five years from their age on dating profiles. Worth bearing in mind.
In Your 50s
Look to fall in like, not necessarily in love. Keep an open mind about what kind of relationship you're seeking at this point in life. Love may supply us with a multitude of fever-pitch experiences and is a terrific prospect at any age, but a little low-intensity "like" can be fun, too.
If you decide to look for love (or like) online, then you'll inevitably find yourself writing a dating profile. This can be tricky. Your dog may be the cutest thing ever in an Easter bonnet, but posting this photo isn't always the best idea. (A man sees it and imagines you want to do the same thing to him.) Ask a close, objective pal for input.
Tell It Like It Is
Write about yourself carefully and accurately. The phrase “looking for some adventure” may get you an immediate response, but perhaps not the one you intended. If you really love adventures such as mountain climbing, spell it out—or be careful what you wish for.
From Mauritius with love,