Thursday, January 27, 2011
Link Thursday: 5 Friends Who Sabotage Your Relationships
Need a realistic antagonist/catalyst/villain-ess for your contemporary story? Look no further - here are 5 'people' you better beware and think twice before leaving into your life.
In Real Life too, check out whether these 'types' are not hampering you.
The article is from MSN Lifestyle Love Relationships, accessed on January 11, 2011. The piece is by The Nest Editors.
Five Friends Who Sabotage Your Relationship
Some friendships can take a serious toll on your relationship with your honey. Here's who to watch out for before your misguided "pals" push your partner away for good.
By The Nest Editors
1. Ex-Boyfriend's Mom
You and your ex called it quits, but that doesn't mean your newfound shopping friend did. The only issue? It's your ex's mom! She emailed you saying how much she wanted to stay friends. You always liked her, so you said yes — and now you're Facebook friends, email buddies and, about once a month or so, brunch dates.
The risk: C'mon, let's be honest: Would you appreciate your spouse hanging out with his ex's mom?
If you're hanging out this much with an ex's anything or anyone, it might be a sign that you're not over him, or that you're not ready to leave that chapter of your life behind. Find a new brunch friend and end it. It's not worth jeopardizing your relationship.
Ever since you got married, she rolls her eyes whenever you mention anything having to do with your guy. She just can't get over that you got married and that you have a new person you tell all your secrets to. Meanwhile, she expects you to talk for hours about every detail of her relationship.
The risk: All those negative comments only sour your relationship with your man. Bottom line: Her malicious comments about him aren't helping anymore. Whatever you do, don't turn to her to vent when you have a tiff with your guy — she'll definitely only make matters worse.
3. Baby-Crazed Friend
One of your best friends is now a mama, and while you had fun picking out onesies and nursery swag, now everything she talks about is baby-related. She's so consumed with being a mom that you feel like you barely know each other anymore — plus, she just won't quit asking when you and your guy are going to start "trying" (a discussion you two haven't even had yet).
The risk: You'll start to worry about timing with your spouse, and she might just talk you into having the discussion a little too early for his (and even your!) liking. If you don't want a baby just yet, don't let anyone pressure you into addressing that stage too early. So ask her to cool it and enforce a "no baby talk" get-together once a month.
4. Schoolgirl Crush
Before you met the now-love-of-your-life, you had a thing for that cutie you've known forever — and you're still friends. You always wondered "what if?" but nothing ever seems to happen. When he calls, you can't help but break into a smile.
The risk: Those grins haven't gone unnoticed. This provides perfect ammo for any argument you have with your partner, because why is he still in your phone anyway? Do yourself a favor and delete him. You had your chance, and it never worked out for a reason.
5. The Party Dude
You were best friends in college and inseparable till graduation. But while you've moved on to bigger and better things, he's still staying out all hours of the night and having one-night stands. It doesn't help that his most recent one-nighter was with your boyfriend's sister (whom he begged you to set him up with and then never called again).
The risk: Besides totally angering your boyfriend and his sister (who now thinks you're a total jerk for setting her up with someone like him), his remarks on how you're "so whipped" start to hit a nerve after awhile. Try to see him for special crazy nights once in a blue moon ... And please, stop setting him up with people you or your boyfriend know.
From Mauritius with love,