Cosmopolitan Australia site but I thought I'd list these 'rules' here and maybe try to add some more. There's my little quips in the brackets, btw...)
Here goes! :)
10 Rules That Only Apply On Screen
... and not in reality!
1. It’s possible to have sex in a swimming pool, cry or have a cocktail thrown in your face without your makeup budging an inch.
(and no, waterproof makeup is not that waterproof!)
2. If your lift breaks down, a hot, shirtless man will climb in through the roof and hand you a cold drink before rescuing you.
(heck, it doesn't get this good in dreams!!)
3. The smaller the town, the greater the number of cute men. At some point, two of them will have a fight over you in the street.
(uh...guilty writers, put your hands up. How many of us apply this rule to our small towns in our books? *sheepish grin*)
4. All weddings involve someone swooping in to halt the ceremony, one of the guests finding their soul mate and/or a punch-up.
(4 Weddings and A Funeral, anyone...?)
5. It’s impossible to decorate without a paint smudge on one cheek, a play fight with a sexy neighbour and an indoor picnic.
(And no one gets intoxicated by the toxic paint fumes!)
6. Your mobile will only ever run out of battery if you happen to be kidnapped and are desperately trying to call for help.
(Chargers and that annoying low battery reminder don't exist on screen, apparently...)
7. Even if you’re a waitress on minimum wage, you go shopping mid-afternoon and can still afford a huge luxury flat.
(Ahem... this applies to the penniless, struggling writer too there...)
8. Boring chores such as dusting, vacuuming, washing –up, and cleaning the oven strangely don’t exist.
(My dream home. I soooo wish...)
9. If you break up with a guy, you can spend weeks scoffing tubs of ice-cream and huge pizzas – and still fit into your clothes.
(And where do you have the money for such grocery shopping in the first place? Everyone knows Haagen-Dasz and pizza delivery add up to a hefty amount.)
10. The male friend you’ve never fancied but who’s always there for you- and not gay – is really the love of your life.
My personal favourites are not in this list though. I'll add them up here:
11. A gal can have relationships with all the men in one family and no one will bat an eyelash. (Brooke on The Bold and The Beautiful. Technically a soapie, but screen anyhow. And yes, everyone gathers at Christmas and weddings and all is well in the best of worlds...)
12. Girls wake up with a perfect salon blow-dry and department-store-counter makeup every single morning.
13. Nobody has bad breath. Or snores.
14. Clothes always come from Bendel and the likes, and jewellery is almost always Harry Winston diamonds (Gossip Girl and major soapies)
Can you think of some more? List them up in a comment for me. :)
Hope you had a laugh. I needed one...
From Mauritius with love,